This page is for my blog entries to be made ordered with most recent at top.

11.03.26

For a while now, I have been expressing self-loathing in my fetish. I sometimes go through it from time to time, having doubts in my sanity because of my niche-ass fetish. It makes me wish I 'picked a normal fetish like feet or bondage'  so I can more easily find an audience with my art. I keep thinking, "who cares?" and "people think this is cringe". I sometimes have regrets.

Out of curiosity, I went to Grok to see how much it knows about cardiophilia and ended up talking talking for 4 hours straight about my art. I don't have any support online or in real life with this so I am alone on this and wanted "someone to talk to" and I was surprised with how supportive and knowledgeable Grok was about cardiophilia. It understood the nuances behind my art beyond just 'heart sexy'. There's more to my art than that, it's my thoughts and feelings manifested like the Patrick drawing is about my anxieties behind the month-long palpitation I've been having, the Knuckles+Rouge picture about me understanding the romantic undertones of the cutscene, the Shiva picture being about trusting someone with one's core and more.

If the magic spell existed in real life and people across the world performed the act of removing someone's heart, some retards will do irreparable damage or kill someone via negligence because they weren't being careful. If I did the spell in real life, I'd be scared rather than turned on because I have the responsibility of holding a man's heart in my hands but the trust would mean a lot. 😫

I do feel as if I'm shouting into the void with my website. I have reached 1k+ visitors but I have no idea if I am reaching the people that WANT to see this stuff, I imagine everyone stumbling upon my website are just wanderers, not my target audience. Just sucks that I closed my deviantArt account and I can't reopen it. I can't be bothered to make another one.

I feel better now though the doubt still lingers but I think that's normal at this point.

13.02.26

The Heart Challenge page is now live! Three entries have been added as the first look into what I will be doing for the challenge. I'm happy with how they turned out even though I've started with bottom tier themes first, want to get the nuisances done then more focus can be put on the truly good stuff. 

I finally decided on an order for the gallery page, it follows the tier list from tier 1 left to right, tier 2 left to right and so on. Once the gallery is complete, the best tiers will be the highest working it's way down to the bottom of the barrel. I nearly went in the wrong order at first but since no one knows this blog exists, no one will notice the brief moment the images were broken, right?

The next goal I want to set myself is to make a gallery for the ABC Crew so the header link is no longer dead. While I was typing, some territorial cats were outside yowling at each other, wish I saw them fight. 😾
I'm sifting through the artwork now and one files said it was created in 1979! What?! I'm not old! 😱

After setting this blog aside for a minute, I actually compiled some old art together and made a page already. It's not done yet but I will add more old art once I finish processing it to shrink the art to 950 pixels wide. I don't know if I want a full page giving details about my OCs but I don't really want to focus on them too much, I'm too busy with life.
Meanwhile, the cat came back but instead of fighting another cat, I think it's actually locked out. It's raining outside and the cat seems to be distressed rather than angry, feel sorry for the poor thing. I hope the owner lets it in quickly, the sun is going down.

10.02.26

Recently, I have had the Playstation Network send me an email saying that my PSN username violated ToS. The email looked suspicious at first because there was no info that said what username it was or specifically WHY it violated the rules. After the ballache it was to log in (my saved password was different for some reason) and it turned out to be true! RootyBooty DID break the rules after all! I have had that account since 2017 and NOW there's a problem?! I hate pussies so damn much, I'm sick and tired of everyone saying "I'm offended, I'm offended" at EVERYTHING! I hate you! You're such a privileged 1st world rat complaining of a food shortage in the alley behind a restaurant! You actively make the world a worser place. Grow the hell up and stop being offended by everything. 🙄

Rant over, sorry about that but I need to say it.
Anyways, I haven't done any art for the past week, please keep in mind that I don't dedicate myself to drawing heart art, I am a grown-ass woman with a life and friends. I have two drawings in the backlog for the challenge but I'm a bit stuck for the 3rd picture, not sure what to do for it.

While I was watching Bleach, I did a drawing of a character I never paid much attention to but...I think I might like him too. Like what happened with Byakuya, didn't feel anything until the heart art kicked in. 😍
I'll reveal the picture once it's posted, I look forward to sharing it with everyone.
Edit: I have started the picture. I am getting the bottom tier themes done first. I will add the drawings Once I'm done.

30.01.26

I filled out this tier list a year ago and I planned to draw a picture for each entry. I remember a couple of them like the Yoshi one relating to critters, Jin Heart Touch for feeling someone's heart, post coitus Maki for sex but if there's any more, I forgot. I don't want to draw the bottom tier themes again, that's for sure. I don't want to draw feral heart stuff, yuck. And as for robots, they don't have hearts but I have had a Vietnam flashback to a cartoon of a plane character having a purple heart medal as his heart and Robocop in Mortal Kombat 11 has a robo heart to not cause technical issues with Fatalities.

A couple of these, I don't know how they relate to heartbeats like crying, stomach growls, hypnosis and such. How can I make cardiophile drawings of those?

And squeezing heart, I have watched a JoJo episode on that. 😆 The top tiers would be the best ones, I really like heart expansion because its not inflation, per se as no liquid or air is involved I the process, its simply magically grows in size. The idea of pumping a heart full of water or air is a turn-off as it seems malicious and intends to harm the victim. And it reminds me too much of fat inflation. 🤢

I think I may have wrote notes on this before but I can't find it at the moment. Might as well make a new list.