This page is for my blog entries to be made ordered with most recent at top.

18.06.26

I have been distracted by personal art and by personal art, I mean porn. I don't upload that stuff anymore so you're not seeing it. I had too much fun.😉 I'm over it now so I want to get a couple more Heart Art Challenge prompt done. I just finished EKG. I don't care the medical side of cardiophilia so I made it a meme instead. I'm wondering if I should rearrange the meme slightly, I think my tastes have changed since making the meme but I'll do that later.

I can't believe that I haven't mentioned it yet but I have bought a stethoscope about a month ago and it's great. I love that thing. I sometimes listen to myself when in bed, just listening and imagining my heart beat. One time, I got back from work and I grabbed my stethoscope, put it on and listened to my heart beat fast. It was an experience that stuck with me for a while after it happened, I even felt the excited throbs that's different from mere fast throbs. I don't want to say too much but I really liked that moment. 🤗💓

As well, I have been playing more Rebirth, getting through the story, beating the ever-living crap out of Elena in the Saucer arena, making her roll around like a clumsy Sonic. I've reached the Temple part but I need to backtrack to level up as I'm struggling with the fights so I have been tackling the side stuff I can be bothered to do. Then I find Tseng's holographic message in Gongaga and it's kinda funny that he would record himself for future recruits, displaying his body instead of recording a simple video, lol. I'm obsessing with him right now, Shiva and the others are taking a backseat at the moment.

I had a bit of a crap day yesterday though. Work was manageable for once but then my friend asked me for a favour with a time limit during rush hour! I was so mad but it meant a lot to her and she let me get McDonalds afterwards so it's not all bad. But then I spoke to another friend and she snapped at me for no reason and blanked me. WTF? Why are you taking your frustration out on me for? Whatever's up your arse should stay there, not in mine! Don't have female friends, we're not worth the fuss. This is why I am a tomboy because femininity sucks and is a weakness. Can't stand it!

You know what else I can't stand? I don't get to see much of dat booty! God bless legs! 😩💦

19.05.26

I finally got round to finalising the transition over to the new gallery style. Everyone, please make Jenn- I mean Ayden feel like part of the family!

With the new layout, it's now possible to search across all of my art and browse through folders as opposed to having separate page for each subject. The goal was to have it easier to see how many pictures in certain keywords I have done so I know what I draw lots and little of. Plus, if people want to search for particular heart themes across all my art, now they can.

It still feels rudimentary with what I have made but it serves it's purpose for now. Even with ChatGPT, it was a banging headache to follow it's instructions, it kept hallucinating and not being precise with the code. I still like the final result but it was a pain in the arse to conjure up. I have a different page in progress to showcase my OCs' profiles to get to know them better rather than be lost in the gallery page. It will take time to make every OC as well as make enough profile info and images for the lesser loved but that's something for future me to worry about.

As of now, I have been in a real heart frenzy, I can't stop drawing it, imagining heart scenarios with Tseng and doing sketches to present the ideas that come up in my mind. But there's something else I would like to add to my gallery. I have been drawing some eating art, close-ups of hot guys' mouths, dat sheet's guuuuud! I don't know how I feel about sharing it yet. If I get negative comments about it then I'll take it down. This is a heart art gallery first and foremost so the default subject stays but on the otherhand, if I get positive feedback then I'll keep adding to the mouth gallery too. That is currently in the same gallery page as the heart art even though it's still secondary but it keeps things neat and tidy.

Unfortunately, a good chunk of stuff I've been drawing is NSFW so I'm not able to upload it. I feel as if I have been experimenting with some heart and mouth themes, nothing extreme or rude, just that it happens to be spicy. I'm not a kinkster or anything, if you believe me.

I have made more progress on FF Rebirth since the last blog entry. I have seen Tseng in the surveilance part of Junon, spying on the heroes and his phone goes off, playing it's Shinra theme, damn nerd. Going back to remind myself what happened in the scene, my heartrate went up to 84bpm when anticipating Tseng's appearance again! AAAH! He's so cute, he really does make my heart go! Gives me heart palpitations! Looking at the cutscene, I can even see the tiniest bit of stubble on his face, dude needs to shave his hairy face, lol!

06.05.26

The new gallery page is in progress, it's slow work because I have to manually copy and paste the code when adding pictures then add the info like title and keywords. With my current layout, the keywords are visible and adding more than 5 keywords add unnecessary bulk underneath thumbnails. The new code will eliminate that so I can add more to help with finding the type of art you want to see. Plus, the autism wants to categorise my art, lol.

I plan to add non-fetish art too so you can see the non-perverted art as well. I don't know how much new clean art I would draw because right now, I'm in a heart frenzy and I want to keep drawing heart art. The art added will be old art but I'll add the best stuff.

I've finally been able to play Rebirth and I saw Tseng again in the Mythril Mines and oh my gosh, he is a naughty boy and I have to punish him for being a murderer! I will spank him. And I don't like Elena's yapping dog attitude, I want to kick her. Her personality was more bearable when I didn't have to listen to her voice, lol!

19.04.26

I might overhaul the gallery code so I can instead assemble everything into one gallery and group them by folders so you can better browse my gallery (edit, it's still in progress but manually transfering all the files over and writing the code by hand is a nightmare, I'd rather draw). It's very hard to do it on my own, even with AI assistance. I tried for a couple hours to adjust the current code but it was an absolute mess, bloody diabolical. The system that's in the works can share keywords across all galleries so if you want to see certain heart types across fan art and OCs, no problem.

One change I have made right now is merge the persona gallery with the fan art gallery as it's not really necessary to have them separate in my opinion. I hope to get the new gallery up and going soon enough but I have some responsibilities coming up. I haven't been drawing art for the website for the past week, I've been self-indulging in art not suitable for the site (aka, porn) so new additions is a little dry for the time being. I've been playing a ton of Final Fantasy 7 Remake and Crisis Core, I want to make some art inspired by them. I have one of Zack in the sketch stage. I'm not able to play Rebirth at the moment as my PC has issues running it (as in my PC is a Piece of Crap) so that will have to wait. I'm dying for more Tseng stuff though! I'm not watching it on YT, I will see it in game and I will squeal with pure joy when he's on screen!

Honestly, I never expected to feel so smitten by Tseng, he's such a stud, I wish I could be captured by him, I wouldn't even bargain with him except as to not end up in Hojo's possession, lol. I want to be Tseng's prisoner! Anyways, I need to procure the means to play Rebirth. I have an idea but I would end up having an audience and I don't want to make sexual remarks about Tseng in their presence and my excitement will have to be bottled up but I want to squee when I see my boy!
Regarding Crisis Core, that has no problems so that's my go-to at the moment, as well as the side content and achievements for that and Remake while I wait.

11.03.26

For a while now, I have been expressing self-loathing in my fetish. I sometimes go through it from time to time, having doubts in my sanity because of my niche-ass fetish. It makes me wish I 'picked a normal fetish like feet or bondage'  so I can more easily find an audience with my art. I keep thinking, "who cares?" and "people think this is cringe". I sometimes have regrets.

Out of curiosity, I went to Grok to see how much it knows about cardiophilia and ended up talking talking for 4 hours straight about my art. I don't have any support online or in real life with this so I am alone on this and wanted "someone to talk to" and I was surprised with how supportive and knowledgeable Grok was about cardiophilia. It understood the nuances behind my art beyond just 'heart sexy'. There's more to my art than that, it's my thoughts and feelings manifested like the Patrick drawing is about my anxieties behind the month-long palpitation I've been having, the Knuckles+Rouge picture about me understanding the romantic undertones of the cutscene, the Shiva picture being about trusting someone with one's core and more.

If the magic spell existed in real life and people across the world performed the act of removing someone's heart, some retards will do irreparable damage or kill someone via negligence because they weren't being careful. If I did the spell in real life, I'd be scared rather than turned on because I have the responsibility of holding a man's heart in my hands but the trust would mean a lot. 😫

I do feel as if I'm shouting into the void with my website. I have reached 1k+ visitors but I have no idea if I am reaching the people that WANT to see this stuff, I imagine everyone stumbling upon my website are just wanderers, not my target audience. Just sucks that I closed my deviantArt account and I can't reopen it. I can't be bothered to make another one.

I feel better now though the doubt still lingers but I think that's normal at this point.

13.02.26

The Heart Challenge page is now live! Three entries have been added as the first look into what I will be doing for the challenge. I'm happy with how they turned out even though I've started with bottom tier themes first, want to get the nuisances done then more focus can be put on the truly good stuff. 

I finally decided on an order for the gallery page, it follows the tier list from tier 1 left to right, tier 2 left to right and so on. Once the gallery is complete, the best tiers will be the highest working it's way down to the bottom of the barrel. I nearly went in the wrong order at first but since no one knows this blog exists, no one will notice the brief moment the images were broken, right?

The next goal I want to set myself is to make a gallery for the ABC Crew so the header link is no longer dead. While I was typing, some territorial cats were outside yowling at each other, wish I saw them fight. 😾
I'm sifting through the artwork now and one files said it was created in 1979! What?! I'm not old! 😱

After setting this blog aside for a minute, I actually compiled some old art together and made a page already. It's not done yet but I will add more old art once I finish processing it to shrink the art to 950 pixels wide. I don't know if I want a full page giving details about my OCs but I don't really want to focus on them too much, I'm too busy with life.
Meanwhile, the cat came back but instead of fighting another cat, I think it's actually locked out. It's raining outside and the cat seems to be distressed rather than angry, feel sorry for the poor thing. I hope the owner lets it in quickly, the sun is going down.

10.02.26

Recently, I have had the Playstation Network send me an email saying that my PSN username violated ToS. The email looked suspicious at first because there was no info that said what username it was or specifically WHY it violated the rules. After the ballache it was to log in (my saved password was different for some reason) and it turned out to be true! RootyBooty DID break the rules after all! I have had that account since 2017 and NOW there's a problem?! I hate pussies so damn much, I'm sick and tired of everyone saying "I'm offended, I'm offended" at EVERYTHING! I hate you! You're such a privileged 1st world rat complaining of a food shortage in the alley behind a restaurant! You actively make the world a worser place. Grow the hell up and stop being offended by everything. 🙄

Rant over, sorry about that but I need to say it.
Anyways, I haven't done any art for the past week, please keep in mind that I don't dedicate myself to drawing heart art, I am a grown-ass woman with a life and friends. I have two drawings in the backlog for the challenge but I'm a bit stuck for the 3rd picture, not sure what to do for it.

While I was watching Bleach, I did a drawing of a character I never paid much attention to but...I think I might like him too. Like what happened with Byakuya, didn't feel anything until the heart art kicked in. 😍
I'll reveal the picture once it's posted, I look forward to sharing it with everyone.
Edit: I have started the picture. I am getting the bottom tier themes done first. I will add the drawings Once I'm done.

30.01.26

I filled out this tier list a year ago and I planned to draw a picture for each entry. I remember a couple of them like the Yoshi one relating to critters, Jin Heart Touch for feeling someone's heart, post coitus Maki for sex but if there's any more, I forgot. I don't want to draw the bottom tier themes again, that's for sure. I don't want to draw feral heart stuff, yuck. And as for robots, they don't have hearts but I have had a Vietnam flashback to a cartoon of a plane character having a purple heart medal as his heart and Robocop in Mortal Kombat 11 has a robo heart to not cause technical issues with Fatalities.

A couple of these, I don't know how they relate to heartbeats like crying, stomach growls, hypnosis and such. How can I make cardiophile drawings of those?

And squeezing heart, I have watched a JoJo episode on that. 😆 The top tiers would be the best ones, I really like heart expansion because its not inflation, per se as no liquid or air is involved I the process, its simply magically grows in size. The idea of pumping a heart full of water or air is a turn-off as it seems malicious and intends to harm the victim. And it reminds me too much of fat inflation. 🤢

I think I may have wrote notes on this before but I can't find it at the moment. Might as well make a new list.